XMAS

"My upcoming second Christmas, I don’t even remember what I did last year
That’s how boring and uneventful that day was" - JK lyrics


I remember last year around this time I wrote a post about why Christmas is losing its actual meaning for me. Now I realized that I've deleted that post, uh wanted to link it. Anyway I'm glad I did, it was too negative and I want this place to be on the positive note ^~^

Even though this might not be the most cheerful post ever, but I will try to be on that note as much as I can.

Merry Christmas lovely people~! \('▿')/

To us it didn't feel festive until 2 days before Christmas when we got a small fake Christmas tree and then decided to be more cheerful and put up Christmas lights. It felt a bit better but still not as I remember.

This year money was a problem, so I had to think wise because I sure didn't want to leave most precious people in my life with nothing. As it is said, it's the thought that counts~ So why not make cupcakes? (Yup, lack of time also) And for my dearest family, I decided to bake cinnamon rolls which, I'm surprised, came out pretty well and my mom couldn't stop asking me if I really made them myself. (Yes mum, I did!)

We gathered, we ate, we communicated, we had a pretty fun time. Got home, went to bed. Woke up. Just like that, woke up. I remember Christmas night being one of the biggest miracles for me. Now I just went to bed and woke up. We gathered once again, gave little ones their presents, helped them enjoy their presents and when we all started saying our good-byes, we both took our wrapped somethings and got back home. I didn't expect anything special nor that I got the one thing I hoped for.

I guess I should be sad. But I'm not. This whole Christmas period made me think a lot and now I just appreciate the time I can spend with my family. Living just with my brother made me much more independent but also let me know what it's like to miss your family. I'm glad I got to spend some time with them, even though it wasn't quality time. I kept denying this fact, but family is important.

OH! There is ONE thing that made this Christmas amazing and really made us feel the holiday vibes! Guess whaaaaat! It's Harry Potter, ehehehe. I love it so much that I persuaded my brother to come watch the whole story with me and he got so caught up too! We watched 4 movies in 2 days and we ain't stoppin until Harry defeats Him Who Must Not Be Named~
ᕙ (°̀▭°́)ᕗ

This season I'm thankful to my close friends who accidentally, not knowing it themselves, make me feel better and bring back the joy of life to me. I am also very thankful to have such support like my brother and my mom who, I know, would support the craziest ideas of mine. Despite of these things, right now I am most thankful to the Universe for turning my little world upside down and letting me acknowledge some things which now are a part of my life and guide me through all good and bad. This little accident helped me find amazing people and even make friends! Never have I thought...

Looks like it's all that I've experienced this season! Though I received a lot, I hope I gave a lot, too. This now became one of the main goals of mine and I'm learning, I'm trying and I'm happy while doing it.

One more thing real quick! I think this year a miracle actually happened. What WHat wHat WHAt WHATTTTT???? Nothing much...it...just...SNOWED! Sounds like I'm exaggerating but believe me, if you had to spend few years without snow on Christmas Eve, when hundreds of  years before it was impossible to survive in the snowstorms, you would feel the same way. Also It wouldn't be such a huge deal for me if it didn't snow exactly on Christmas Eve! Ah made me so so happy~ (っ＾▿＾)っ

As you can see, many thoughts encountered my mind and this always gives me some inspiration. I'll now leave this with a small something taken out of my mind. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, I hope everyone is safe and happy, I hope everyone is strong and I hope everyone will become stronger in the next year. We are fighting~

Relationship Goals

Hello fellas! I am sorry for taking this far too long but hey~~ I finally finished everything! The design is done! Nothing special though, but I feel like this one expresses me and my blog more accurately. Now you just need to anticipate for upcoming posts and other content J I know that I’m excited~!

As for today’s post, I want to share with you some thoughts of mine about relationships. Sadly, this won’t be about love hehe *experience level: too low*

Ever since I remember myself, I loved people and as creepy as it sounds, I still love watching how they act and behave, how they express feelings, emotions, how they communicate and how they connect with other people. I like observing everything, especially people. I always watch their body language, face expressions and eyes. These things say so much about a person, it’s insane! This is why sometimes I can predict what my friends will say or what they have in mind but don’t say out loud. Hehe makes me kind of dangerous? Be aware! Ah, this is funny~

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about people, their behaviours and relationships between friends. For the past few months I’ve been forced to think about my future, my own path, my desire and passion for… what? That question had to be answered and because of some unexpected discoveries (a very warm and sincere thank you to myself for this accident and for leaving all the prejudice aside), I managed to find few answers which at least show me the direction now. To connect all of this, it involves people and relationships. I hope I cleared up a bit the topic for today! If not, huh, bear with me please!

First off, let’s make a point that I want a group of people in my life. You know, that all-for-one-and-one-for-all kind of team. Since I strongly believe in teamwork, having these people would let all of us move mountains! Imagine if all of us went the same direction, had similar goals and also were really good friends… Gawd, I really really like the idea of a team, crew, group, squad, you name it.


As I mentioned before, I observe so much and I made a clear image of what a perfect relationship would look like to me. Therefore, I made a list! (Yeah, I do those things =^^=)

Bye, competition –

I know this issue can ruin relationships. Particularly between girls. We do like to compete, right? Who’s prettier, who can do better, who knows this better, who has more skill… no! To be able to leave the whole competing aside and acknowledge friends’ achievements, also learn from them – this is the beauty of a relationship;

Compromise –

Letting go of categorical opinions is a huge step. I often get so annoyed when someone doesn’t even let you finish you talk and just states: “Well no, I don’t think that way”. Okay, everyone has opinions but listening to others and discussing different points of view is so teamwork-ish that it can lead to amazing ideas and decisions;

Similar goals –

I find it so beautiful when people have similar goals (field of interest remains the same but the goals can differ so so much) and they help each other! Maybe one has experience in it and can help the other, the same vice versa;

Spoken truth –

People who tell you the truth about you are the best. This way you can see your flaws followed by constructive criticism. I appreciate these this so much. Hearing things like that from people close to you make you want to improve and you simply go and start making yourself a better person. Undoubtedly, truth cannot be said without respect. Appreciate the person firstly, then tell the truth and the person will show appreciation as well;

Loyalty –

Friends who stick to you through good and bad are to die for. This kind of relationship with loyalty as strong as affection creates magic. Whenever I see this in people, it makes me really happy. I want to feel this one day, too;

Trusting each other –

I’m sad – I’ll run to you. I have anxiety – I’ll run to you. I want to let something off my mind – I’ll definitely run to you. Having someone you can pour your heart to is invaluable and heart-warming but having a few people – that’s a real bargain. Imagine those genuine midnight talks where nobody is judged and everything makes sense;

You got game? –

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH when friends don’t need explanations for their actions. When one starts acting silly and completely incomprehensible and others just join in, regardless of them understanding what’s going on! It becomes some kind of improvisation, haha. I can’t help myself – being silly as I am, I adore this really much, though no one ever understands me and I’m just doing most random things by myself;

Being mean does not always mean somebody’s mean –

Picking on people is necessary. It’s one of the ways I communicate. If I’m playfully mean to you – that means I love you. Let’s be honest, it’s entertaining to make fun of friends. Having many inside jokes, good and bad memories, knowing each other’s secrets – all of this adds up and makes the best jokes ever. Ah, being like that really enlivens the relationship and I couldn’t live with that. Being good friends means laughing it off and getting a few counterattacks every now and then;

You are cute, I am cute, we’re all cute –

I don’t know man, I like cute people. Can’t help myself here and acting overly cute is just a thing! Being cute and weird makes everything better, also referring to the point no.7;

^ All of this is great, I want people like this to step into my life but there is one thing that matters the most. 

Respect –

No genuine relationship can be made without respect. If you respect people, they respect you. Whether it’s a friend, a family member or a colleague – they all are people and they all deserve respect. I believe this really makes a difference.

Oh and I also want to work with my squad in the future;

Here it is, told everything I had in mind. Now I just have to find these people, haha! Setting jokes aside, this may sound like I want too much. I agree, nobody’s perfect and some of my friends can think I don’t appreciate them because they don’t have certain traits. No worries, I extremely appreciate my friends, even if I’m not able to show it. I cannot change them and even if sometimes I want, I won’t try to do that. You cannot change other people unless they want to change themselves – then you can just offer your help. That’s why I’m trying to change myself to someone who does everything that I stated above. I’m aiming to show more love and appreciation~


Being completely honest, right now I don’t feel the support from them and I’m totally fine with that. I know my friends have their own problems and worries and I’d absolutely love to help each one of them to cope with their obstacles. I’m also aware that I need attention and after knowing myself better, I can finally admit it. I know I’m not the most important person in the world but I’m quite important to myself. Whenever I get anxious (and recently this became a huge problem), all I want is to let it out somewhere but then again the expectations for getting enough attention are too high and I end up holding everything in. Those are scary times because everything seems to be wrong and quickly falling apart. At least I have sheets of paper and a pen. They become my only friend and I wish I could put everything to words more easily.

Now that I thought of it, I should work on it. Thank you for listening.

In return, I want to listen to you so please share anything from your mind in the comments ❤

5 Tips For Moving From Your Freezing Point

Have you ever had times when you felt frozen into the ground and couldn't move? 

Well, not literallly! It's more like that time in life when you seem to be stuck in one place - not moving forward, nor back - and it is the most frustrating feeling! Am I right or am I right?

I think this is more common between artistic types of people, but I'm pretty sure every one of us at least once had this struggle.

I, myself, have this condition regularly, about once in two months. And oh bruh, it's bad. You just want to crawl in your bed (um, that's basically what always happens, actually), stare blankly at the ceiling and cannot come up with anything. The lack of inspiration is so real at those times!

I recently got past the point of freezing and I am on the cloud nine right now. I thought I would point out a few things which usually help me to get my flow and motivation back! 

1. Make Time To Relax

Maybe you're overworking or maybe you're just stressing yourself by trying to force ideas out of your brain. Whatever's the cause, take a break! Sometimes it's enough to sleep it off and sometimes it needs way more effort. I used to take at least week's time of rest to recreate my mind, body and thoughts. This leads to no. 2...

2. Take A Break To Think

Don't force anything out of yourself, but just take time to think about all that's happening. Where are you going? What do you want from yourself? What do you strive to do/create/accomplish? These questions can really help to boost your motivation as you'll once again see your goals and passions. Things often get lost in our minds because of overworking and it's healthy to constantly remind ourselves why are we doing what we're doing.
BUT avoid overthinking. It is as bad as losing motivation, only that we can control overthinking. It gets us nowhere and just gives more problems that benefits.

3. Explore AKA Find New Source(s) Of Inspiration

Sometimes these things come to you at the most unexpected time! It happened to me recently and now my newest source of inspiration has never been so powerful! Explore, check out new music, new people, new books etc. Something that could get an emotion out of you so you could feel alive again. Most importantly, give everything a chance. Maybe you don't like sci-fi books in general but what if that one particular sci-fi book will spark something in you and change your whole outlook? I know this because it has happened to me. 

4. Trigger A Change

If you froze, there's a possibility you need some changes. Nothing drastic (if you feel the need, go drastic!). I think that sometimes we lose the confidence because we're so used to the process and it gets boring. What can be done about this? Well, anything you can come up with! Maybe change your workplace a bit, add something new to your style, change your hairstyle, take a different route to school/work. Just change something!

5. Move Forward

Paulo Coelho once said - "When in doubt, take the next small step" and this is one of my favorite wall-worthy quotes of all time. And it actually works. Even the smallest step, like writing a title for a new chapter, drawing the first line on a sheet of paper or writing down the stupidest idea, counts. Every action has a reaction and that reaction will probably be a new wave of passion. There's nothing more exciting than getting back to activities you love and believe in. 

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These methods work for me personally, but everyone is different, so it might not work for you. 

I still strongly suggest trying them out yourself, though!

Also, do you have your own methods? It's be so cool if you shared your experience because I want to know!

Hope you enjoyed.

↯See ya soon!✌

The Long Road Ahead Of Us

June 27th was one of the best days so far.

Let's leave it like this and talk a bit more about June as a whole.

So every year when school ends and summer starts, everyone expects it to be the best summer ever with loads of trips, exciting events or simple friend gatherings. But one thing is quite predictable and annual - once June toddles towards the end, my facebook feed becomes clogged with whimpering posts about wasting a whole month of their vacation.

The same thing used to happen to me. Not enough activities, sleeping until noon, friends being busy and out of the city… well, not this year.

I think that every year, as schoolwork is getting more serious, exams are getting closer rapidly and we are growing as people, we start to appreciate and value such small things as vacations and relaxation. Friends, too. They're the most important when it comes to summer! So I want to share my experience because that night gave so much emotions and things to think about. It seems like such a small happening will determine my future actions and plans. I'm really looking forward to what's about to come next! I can proudly say that my June was not wasted at all and everything I do are baby steps now which I hope will lead to something big and beautiful.

Without any further ado, let me tell you about that middle night trip to nowhere.

TEDx Conference

I've known about TEDx for awhile from YouTube thanks to all social media and my good friend Caroline. It's such an inspirational event with whole bunch of creative and innovative ideas from interesting speakers with great and open minds. These kind of things fascinate me alot so when I saw that same conference is being held in my school, I absolutely wanted to go.

 I've always wondered what's the difference between a TED event and a TEDx event and what the little 'x' letter meant. Apparently it means this:

Oh, okay.

So all is good, this TEDx was held at a local cinema and the initiators were our school students and teachers! So at 2 PM on Friday, me, Caroline, Domy and Akvilė went to the cinema, got a check mark next to our names on the list, found pretty decent visibility seats and waited for the start.

I won't talk about every presentation since there were 13 of them and this would be a very very long blog post with very boring storytelling of mine! I can say that on the whole, the conference was a success and I'm very proud of the speakers who had the guts to go out there and talk about something they know, they like, they have interest in. And even if their English wasn't very fluent, even if they had a funny accent, even if they forgot few phrases or almost few paragraphs of their speech - they all did good. How do I know that? Because I was inspired by them and I think this is one of the keys of a successful TEDx conference. To inspire people, to help them grow and find new things, to help them go out there and get shit done.

The conference was broadcasted live but due it's poor quality, I won't upload it here, sorry!

Some speakers had chosen common relatable topics such as motivation, to be, or not to be and so on. But these were actually the most interesting one's, I can say! There's never too much getting deeper into yourself and finding that inner motivation and one of the speakers helped alot to realize this. Of course, there were a few speakers who introduced their favorite band and art form but there were some who didn't catch my attention. I have to admit, there were moments when we sat there, sighed and almost fell asleep...

Overall, it was an amazing personal experience not to watch TEDx through my computer screen but actually attend one. See ya next year, ted!

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Since I'm here talking about this, here are a few TED talks about graduation and...what to do after it?

This is a daunting question for me too, since I'm in my Junior year. Take a look!

"Graduation…now what?"

Bye and remember to always look for the good side and never say what you can show.☆