December 30, 2014


Oy, 2014!  
What a year it was!

Starting year '14

This year I kept track of my activities and, most importantly, feelings. Every year I aim to develop as a person and I can proudly say that in 2014 this goal was greatly accomplished ^-^
I think I should quickly skim through every month of 2014, here we go:

I started this year by jumping straight into YouTube world. This gave me lots of new feelings and a whole bunch of inspirational people. I followed a new outlook in life, the life of adventure. Great start of the year, I may say!

Well, not the following month. February was a breakdown for me. It was a crisis, a chaos. My mind was doing its own thing in February.

March - April
Ah... My lovely March... Spring always brings crushes, right? Well, I'm not an exception. March and April were full of irrational dreaming, crushing and overthinking. Oh, also dancing, yes. Lots of dancing. We were practicing every other evening, sweating, preparing for summer performances.

I was still dancing in May, hehe. I loved it. Also got caught up into this whole blogging thing once again. This means that I found my old blog and decided to bring it to life. So started working on my blog which means I introduced myself to design!

Messy month, I'd say. Summer brought a hard time for me and my buddies. We had issues, it was heartbreaking and I never want to experience such things ever again ;_; Fighting with your friends is one of the worst experiences. Please appreciate your friends more! I had to learn this the hard way. Other than that, summer means more free time! So we had lots of sleepovers with a bunch of movies, we had an amazing night ride with girls and sadly, after summer dance festival, it was the end for our dance crew. June broke my heart a few times but also tried to fix it.

I beautifully turned 18! Haha..ha..ha. Actually, lots of things happened in July. This means me getting (finally!!!!!!) a camera for my birthday! With this, it came a time for learning new stuff. I mean for real, I learned so much throughout July. I learned how to photograph properly, I learned how not to fall off a skateboard (of course I fell, gawd), I still tried to get to know design better... though inside I was really lost. Ideas were attacking my mind but my heart couldn't find its place.

As I now recall, this was one of the chillest months so far. \n-n/ The most memorable experience was kayaking! It was always a dream of mine and being able to finally do it..ah it was beautiful. I love water and I wasn't afraid of sore arms but I was a bit scared of the river plants, I have a fear of them >.< I overcame the fear that day, I mean I had to! It felt a bit extreme to climb from a kayak into a canoe and vice versa haha. I loved every part of it! Good thing: got over my crush and could focus on my work once again! Triple yay!

Then September came... My whole life turned upside down and I'm not exaggerating one bit. It was a successful month. Firstly, I finally got a new laptop which meant I could take photographing, designing and every sort of creating more seriously. Secondly, I unintentionally found a 7 member hiphop group (BTS) which took me into this journey of a new culture, new habits, new feelings and tears of happiness, also reviving my love for hiphop. Lastly, pure happiness with a subtle taste of change it was. Oh, September also was a month without money haha.

This month was dedicated to BTS because I had to catch up on so many shows and their past recordings and broadcasts. Also did the most photoshoots this month and started creating my own little spaces where I could share my insights and works. That being my blog and my photo blog on Tumblr ^-^ Also a big accomplishment for me was donating blood for the first time. It went perfectly well, I'm a strong human being haha. It felt good, I feel like doing again in the future. I'm proud that I finally, after so much time, learned to work with GIFs properly! Ah yassss. On the sadder note, together with new experiences, I felt the first kicks of anxiety. Mornings were the hardest.

This month I felt the first symptoms of a change. While watching BTS' practices, I started missing dancing too much. There's no way I could go back to it at that point, so I had to just sit and be happy other people can dance and have a place to do it. November was hard because I am in 12th grade and trying to match my school work with extra-curricular projects got my nerves going crazy. Those projects slowly determined who I am and this was the time I finally understood the path I want to follow. I opened my blog in November and started doing fanart which I never ever did before. This means I got back to drawing! I also officially joined ARMY which is a fandom name. Now I'm stuck and there's no way of going back lol.

I cry everytime because miss this af ToT

I feel like December gifted me with inspiration. I don't know, it feels like the whole December I've been writing, drawing, sketching and rhyming :D Of course, my grades got jealous and decided to dr-dr-drop. Talking about grades and school, I found the direction and decided to follow it. I got some valuable life lessons, I started to become a better person. What a better way to be that than to learn from those who you love the most. I don't know, I was kinda lost, anxiety didn't help (though I learned to tackle it a bit) but finding my passions really helped with everything. Then winter break came and everything basically fell into place. This is how I end up my year. Calmly, happily and with a slight bit of excitement :3

I also found a few goals I wrote at the end of 2013. This is funny, because I kind of just go with the flow and never actually try to reach them. But now looking back I understand that I accomplished 5 goals out of written 9. Not bad as for someone like me haha. I'm aware that I left a few things unfinished, eg. ME + PHOTO Challenge but I feel like I should leave it like that. Some things are better left unfinished.

Now a bold statement can be made that 2014 has been a year for me to find myself and I successfully did it. I built a foundation for my future developments, with my ups and downs, with crisis and pleasant findings. I found a new family, therefore made new friends. I hope this is just a beginning with more excitement ahead.

Also sorry for the lenght, I honestly intended this post to be a bit shorter (oops)

May 2015 bring you happiness and inspiration for whatever you do or desire to do. Stay strong, move forward and leave some room for development. Let's be better, let's stand for what we love and believe in, let's open our hearts more, let's appreciate what we have, let's exchange joy ^-^ 

Note to self: let's not write such things and make people cringe, hehe, but as cliché as it sounds, it's all true n_n

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